Monday, April 17, 2006

The Taxman Cometh

Okay, okay, I get it. If I don't manage to file a tax return early and get back somewhere in the neighborhood of $50, I am an accounting doofus and don't deserve to swim in the big kids' pool with everybody else.

Well, that's not how it works in my neck of the woods. Anytime a bonus gets shoveled toward a Florida teacher, they tax the living daylights out of it, to the tune of about 28%. And since we're talking about bonuses here, you're never sure how many of them, if any, you can get.

I'm already claiming every dependent possible except the dogs--Uncle Sam looks askance at deductions for four-legged kids--married rate, filing jointly, etc. I'm not exactly sure how I'm supposed to make this deduction/bonus thing work out to nearly zero. Frankly, since I'm not even excited enough about taxes to bestir myself to do them early, I can't see myself getting worked up to figure out how to make my return come back at less than $100. I know, don't tell me, government's using my money interest-free. I know, but I just don't care enough. If I did, I'd be able to find all my receipts in one place.

People who know me well are laughing their asses off right now at the thought of me being up-to-the-second on filing, or even filing at all.

Some thoughts about taxes, for the gal who finished eaaaaaaaaaarly this morning (1:06 am):
  • Make the code simpler. There's a reason we don't study Cunieform anymore.
  • Why can't the IRS build a secure interactive 1040 web page? There's a sensible use for my interest-free tax dollars.
  • Put all the same credits in the same place on the form. All the child care/child deductions/additional child lines are scattered across the thing like chicken feed.
  • If you have to release a publication explaining the tax code or usage, it's probably a bad idea. Simplify, simplify.
I don't think I'm in league with the "your tax return should fit on a postcard" people, but there has to be a way to make this system less Byzantine. If it were, maybe more people wouldn't be crowding the post office on deadline day.

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