Staying Young

Happy B-Day to me! Normally birthdays involve lots of soul-searching and whatnot, but I think the best advice for staying young is courtesy of baseball's legendary Satchel Paige:

1. Avoid fried meats, which angry up the blood.
2. If your stomach disputes you, lie down and pacify it with cool thoughts.
3. Keep your juices flowing by jangling around gently as you move.
4. Go very gently on the vices, such as carrying on in society--the social ramble ain't restful.
5. Avoid running at all times.
6. Don't look back--something might be gaining on you.