Do Clichés Matter?

Stumbled across an interesting article online at the Entertainment Weekly site. With a title like "24 Rom-Com Clichés We'd Retire," how could I not explore? Although they presented good reasons for their choices, I can't say I completely agree with them. They also definitely missed some of the things that drive me nuts. Here's a rundown of their nitpicks:

Media Mavens (13 Going on 20) - Heroines with glamorous jobs in publishing? I thought that went out with the pink-cover chick lit tide. I adore chick lit, but how many jobs in magazine or book publishing are there? As many as the number of Dukes currently in Regency-set romance? How 'bout we look at some other careers, maybe?

The Last–Minute Sprint (Love, Actually) - I can't lie; I'm a sucker for the big dramatic finale. I don't have much quibble with this one.

Do You Believe in Magic? (Simply Irresistible) - Not a problem if it's understood from the get-go that this is a fantasy we're talking about (okay, more of a fantasy than your typical rom-com), but they don't always work. Amélie, absolutely. Like Water for Chocolate, not so much.

Mischievous Dogs (The Truth About Cats and Dogs) - I have less of a problem with this than the lonely-girl-with-a-cat scenario. Then again, most women I know with dogs know how to control them.

Working Girl...Needs Balance (New in Town) - Career girl with only a career to keep her warm? I remember those days. As long as she's not portrayed as a fool when she's not on the job, this one's not a biggie either.

Mr. and Mrs. Right in Front of You (Win a Date With Tad Hamilton) - This one's a little tired. At what point should you clue in? And if it takes you that long to get a clue, is the sucker who's been waiting all that time for you really the kind of wimpy doormat you want? Excepting Peter Parker, of course.

Love at First Fight (10 Things I Hate About You) - This tradition goes back to the classics, 10 Things' homage to The Taming of the Shrew, Much Ado About Nothing, His Girl Friday, Adam's Rib, etc. Done well, it works. What's that they say about the thin line between love and hate?

Clumsy Heroines (Bridget Jones's Diary) - This can get annoying. A trip here and there is okay, but don't paint her as just this side of incompetent and expect us to identify with her.

Blooming Wallflowers (The Mirror Has Two Faces) - Blooming, okay. Suddenly becoming the town hottie because you've taken off your glasses and brushed your hair? Yeah, right. That version needs to die the death, and quickly.

The Lonely Montage (Notting Hill) - Can be effective, but only if you're careful.

Bad Influence Buddies (Knocked Up) - Okay for Judd Apatow, since he's writing for guys anyway, but I don't see much of this in the female-focused rom-coms. She'd walk if he only surrounded himself with boobs.

Ridiculous Proofs of Love (Sleepless in Seattle) - I love Sleepless, but meeting at the top of the Empire State Building when you don't live in NY? This one, I'll give them.

Easy Sex (Forgetting Sarah Marshall) - Stupid sex isn't romantic, sorry.

Schlubby Guy, Pretty Girl (Hitch) - Can the girl ever stay nerdy and get the hottie?

Bad Drivers (Annie Hall) - Any character trait that makes a heroine seem vacuous or incompetent is a no in my book.

Fake IDs (Maid in Manhattan) - Again, if he's willing to fall for you because you're wearing a great outfit and doesn't find out you're lying through your teeth about who you truly are, neither of you deserves a happy ending.

PDA (Never Been Kissed) - File this one under big dramatic finale. If it fits the story, great. If it's obviously tacked on to be a big dramatic finale moment, then it should go.

Top of the Stairs Moment (She's All That) - Love sneaks up on you, it doesn't announce itself at the ball. Pretty in Pink, I'm talkin' to you.

Eating for Two, or Three (Two Weeks Notice) - If they're going to have healthy appetites, have them be healthy sizes. Gals who wear a 12 or 14 can have hot sex and fall in love, too.

Egregious Girl Bonding (Practical Magic) - Sex and the City aside, not every group of girls meets on Thursdays to get plastered and end up vomiting on someone's--usuall Mr. Right's--shoes.

Wet Climax (Four Weddings and a Funeral) - It's not what you think. They mean rainstorm. Big dramatic finale stuff. Must fit logically with rest of story, or it's gotta go.

I've Nothing to Wear (27 Dresses) - Gratuitous costume changes? No. The scene in 27 Dresses gets a pass because it was integral to the plot. Usually the multiple costuming happens with a girlfriend who's helping you pick out the perfect first date outfit.

Singing Into Objects (P.S. I Love You) - This is just stupid. Nobody sings into an object unless they're drunk or in college. Usually drunk and in college. Make them stop.

Quirky BFF (Working Girl) - Apply what I think of as the Accidental Tourist rule. A couple of quirks are human nature. Piling them on to the point of ridiculousness (no sense of direction/won't leave the house/alphabetizing the canned goods/playing a card game no one outside the family knows the rules to meets strange clothes/strange career/weird kid with allergies) is, well, ridiculous.

Personally, I've had it up to here with cluelessness. If nearly every decision you make buys you a one-way ticket to Dumbasstown, then you're no heroine I'm going to enjoy. That, or you're Julia Roberts. She wore out her rom-com heroine card with me years ago, mostly because of the two expression acting: the flinch and nostril flare (anger and surprise) or the laugh. You know the laugh. Her pinnacle was Notting Hill, and that's the last one I need to watch, thanks.

Anything we missed?